Thongs, Flip Flops and Fortunate Misunderstandings
by L.H. Knox
Summary: Noah is Australian, new in New York. He asks shop-assistant Rachel to help him find some things. The pair soon realize that they both have very different meanings for the word 'thong'. Romance springs from thongs and an Australian accent. Puckleberry. Oneshot.


"Can I help you?"

Noah whirls around to see who's talking to him, and sees her long brown hair, big eyes that match and the prettiest smiles he's ever seen.

"Uh, y-yeah, if you don't mind." He continues to stare at her, mouth agape and she waits for him to continue.

"… Sir?"

"Oh, right, sorry," he smiles sheepishly, "I'm, uh, just a bit jet lagged. I only got into town this morning."

"And here I was thinking you just found me attractive." His face turns crimson and he rubs the back of his neck. She laughs at his discomfort.

"I'm sorry," she says, "that was inappropriate. So, what accent have you got there? English?"

"It's Australian I'm-I'm Australian."

"That's awesome!" she squeals.

"Eh, not really. Too many beaches. Not enough job opportunities."

"What do you do?"

"Well I'm attempting to produce music, and maybe record a bit, too."

"No way! I'm trying to find a label to take my demo!" Noah chuckles. She's so lively, so animated, and she's the nicest person he's met so far in the city.

"Well, if I get the job, I'll let you know… ?"

"Rachel. Rachel Berry." She holds out her hand.

"Noah Puckerman." He shakes it.

"Well, Noah, what can I help you with?"

"I'm looking for some thongs." He doesn't quite catch the blush that appears in Rachel's cheeks and doesn't quite hear the mumbling of "they're always gay".

And he sure as hell doesn't expect to be lead to the lingerie section.

Both their faces are bright red.

"So, this is, uh, our collection…" her voice trails off. Noah furrows his brow. Why did she lead him to all of the G-strings and lady underwear? He was only looking for a pair of th-

_Oh._

"Y-you think, a-a-a-and I said, and _oh my god I've never been ooh my god._" His voice rises several octaves.

"I-I'm looking for flip flops. FLIP FLOPS. I don't think we speak the same type of English."

And then Rachel's laughing hysterically, and after a few moments, Noah joins in. She leads him to the footwear department.

"It was nice meeting you, Rachel."

"You, too, Noah. Good luck in the city."

0-0-0

_FOUR MONTHS LATER:_

Noah enters the department store and takes off his jacket. It's cold for November, but still, he braved the weather to coming shopping.

"Noah!" He heard someone greet, and smiled when he saw Rachel.

"Rachel, how are you?"

"I'm good! How bout you? New York treating you well?"

"Yeah, everything's awesome."

"Well I'm guessing by the weather that you're not here for flip flops." He grins at her.

"Actually, I was looking for a CD. CDs in this country play music, right? I didn't just ask for your sex or something?"

"Nope, you're asking for music," she laughs, and leads him to the music section.

"Anything in particular?"

"Yeah, it's called Demo by Rachel Berry." Her eyes widen and she gasps. He snickers quietly at her response before yelping.

"Ow! What was that for?" he asks, rubbing his arm where she hit him.

"You think you're so funny, with your whole ruse thing going on here."

"No, I _know _I'm funny. I _think _I'm adorable. But seriously, I got a job and my boss is getting everyone to find new artists for the company. There's a huge Christmas bonus prize for the winner."

"Noah, this is incredible!" she says, hugging him.

"There's one catch."

"Anything!"

"Let me take you to dinner tonight."

She smiles shyly and agrees and the exchange numbers.

"Tonight, 8pm. Bring your CD. And it better be good, Shortcake, I need that bonus."

She nods and he leaves, and they both do a victory dance when they think nobody's watching.

Later that night, they sit in a quiet restaurant, their laughter filling the air.

"So after twenty minutes of my coworkers laughing at me, I realize that in this country rubbers are _not _used for erasing pencils." Rachel laughs so hard she lets out a snort, and Noah smiles all goofily at her.

"You're gorgeous, you know that?"

She just smiles into her drink.

Noah uses his Christmas bonus to take Rachel to a Broadway show and dinner. Rachel uses her new job as an excuse to quit her old one.

"I have a daughter," Noah blurts out that night, during dinner. Rachel just waits for him to continue.

"Her name is Beth. She's eight, and lives back home in Australia with her mom. We had her when we were sixteen and she's the best thing I've ever done with my life. Leaving her was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it was _for_ her, y'know? I need a stable job and Quinn- my ex- needs cash."

"Can I see a picture of her?" Rachel asks softly, a small smile on her lips.

He pulls out his phone and shows Rachel the smiling eight year old.

"She has your smile."

"And my badassness," he grins, fondly.

They talk more, about Beth and Rachel's dads and their excitement about working together.

Six months later, Noah asks Rachel to move in with him.

She says yes straight away.

Two months after that, Rachel and Noah stand in an airport waiting at the arrival gate.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes, I've told you a thousand times, Beth's dying to meet you." He kisses Rachel lightly on the top of her head, and then his head snaps up.

"Bethy!" he calls out, and starts walking to the little girl. She rips her hand from the flight attendant with her bag and runs to her father. Rachel smiles fondly as the two hug each other tightly. She takes the bag from the disgruntled flight attendant who had to look after the demon child. She turns her attention back to her boyfriend and his daughter.

"And I watched three Disney movies and, and, and I watched a scary movie but then the flight lady caught me and made me go to sleep!" Noah just chuckles at his little girl and kisses her cheeks.

And then Beth notices Rachel.

"You're RACHEL!" the girl screams, and Rachel looks to Noah, alarmed. He shakes his head and laughs.

"Hi, you must be Beth," Rachel answers, and the girl nods enthusiastically. "It's so nice to meet you!"

"Daddy talks about you a lot and Grandma Puckerman says she likes you 'cause you're Jewish like us, and Daddy said that-" Beth's cut off by Noah's hand covering her mouth.

"That's enough, Kiddo," he says, blushing slightly. Rachel just smiles at the adorable pair.

"Well I've heard a lot about you, too."

0-0

Rachel accidentally overhears Noah getting Beth ready for bed.

"Do you love Rachel, Daddy?" she asks softly.

"Very much, Sweetheart."

"Are you going to marry her?"

He hesitates and Rachel's heart skips a beat as she waits for his answer.

"Hopefully one day."

When he comes into the living room, he's met with kisses from Rachel.

"What's that for?"

"I just really love you, Noah."

"I love you, too."

0-0

"Rachel?"

"Yes, Sweetie?"

Beth looks away from the television, and stares at Rachel seriously.

"Do you want to marry my daddy?"

Rachel's eyes widen, unsure how to answer the little girl.

"I love your daddy very much, Beth."

"So you're gonna marry him?"

"Maybe one day. Would it be okay with you if I did?" Beth nods enthusiastically, and Rachel puts her arm around the young blond, half hugging her as they continue watching T.V.

"Rachel?" Beth asks again, a short time later.

"Yes, Beth?"

When the lively girl doesn't answer for a few moments, Rachel looks down and sees the girl looking at her shyly.

"What is it, cutie?"

"Do you… do you love _me, _Rachel?" Beth asks timidly, her innocent eyes filled with the fear of rejection. Rachel feels her own eyes fill with tears as she hugs the little girl even closer to her body.

"Of course I do, Beth."

"Even though you've only known me for a short time?"

Rachel nodded her head, smiling widely. It was true- despite having only met the girl a few weeks prior, she was falling madly in love with the littlest Puckerman, the same way she'd done with the little girl's father.

Beth stays with the couple for a total of two months. In that time, local radio stations had started playing Rachel's single, earning the diva newfound fame, and cameras following her every move.

She stands at the departure gate with a teary Beth and Noah. The man is kneeling down in front of his daughter, blinking away the tears that threaten to fall.

"You be good for your mommy, Bethy. No more getting into trouble at school. Don't let the other kids pick on you. I'll come out and see you real soon, 'kay? I promise." His voice cracks and he pulls the crying girl in for one last hug. When he lets her go, she throws her arms around Rachel, and the brunette feels her heart breaking.

"Bye, Bethy," she breathes.

"I love you, Rachel."

"I love you, too."

0-0-0

The box burns a hole in Noah's pocket. The pair sit on a small beach, Sydney's harbor shining in front of them.

"This place is beautiful, Noah. I don't know how you left."

"Well staying away was pretty easy when I found you," he smiles, before kissing her softly. Rachel looks at her watch.

"We should be getting home. Beth is expecting us before bedtime, and I need an early night because of that freaking TV performance at the crack of."

"Before we go, there's something I need to tell you," Noah stammers.

"O… kay?"

"Rachel, you're the love of my life. Seeing you every day just makes me want you even more. I love you, Beth loves you, and I want to make you a part of our small family." He pulls the box from his pocket and tears glisten in Rachel's eyes as she gasps.

"Rachel, will you marry me?" Rachel manages to choke out a yes before throwing her arms around her fiancé, and kissing him passionately.

"Of course," she whispered into his neck.

"I love you so fucking much, Baby."

"Not as much as I love you."

0-0-0

He kisses the top of his newborn son's head gently. Jackson Noah Puckerman is seven hours old and already has both his parents and big sister wrapped around his tiny finger.

Rachel lies half asleep in the bed beside her two boys as Noah falls in love with his son over and over again. It's as if with each passing moment the world around him is falling down and being rebuilt around this one tiny human being who depends so much on the Australian.

"And then when she led me to the underwear, I realized what I had really said," Noah half whispers to Jackson, explaining to the newborn how he was created.

"Who would've thought something so perfect could come from such a mistranslation?" Rachel asks her husband, as she opens her eyes.

"I've never been more thankful to a g-string," Noah laughs, before standing up and placing Jackson into Rachel's arms.

Standing there, watching his wife and son, he's more content than he's ever been. In a few hours Beth will land at JFK for a four-month stay, and he's counting down the minutes.

As Rachel whispers an 'I love you' to the baby, Noah's heart swells with love, and he thanks the gods for his life, the people in it, but most importantly, thongs.

Both kinds.


End file.
